Do as I say, not as I do...

  Go ahead get yourself killed if you want. No, don't. It does matter to me.

  Here is the deal as I see it... focus on living a long life, if this bike thing is new to you take some time to enjoy it before you do something stupid. So you got yourself a tight little fixed gear, your hair is shaggy and dirty; 20 something and you own the streets.

  Stop there, don't be the hipster you say your not. Be smart, wear a helmet, don't fuck around; ignore the hype. I have seen better cyclist than you catch a golden BB. I have seen the best go down being smart, you ain't that good and you are sure to get it being dumb.

  Look, no one is gonna miss you. Some people get hurt and the world rally's around them, that is because they are special. Odds are against you being special. No one got hurt thinking the troops would come to the rescue, so don't sell yourself short. Just pay attention to the fact you are just a face in the crowd. If you are somebody important you will find out when you need it most don't go lookin for it.

  And know, without a doubt... if you open your mouth and take on a car, it is you and the car. Never, ever pull out the f-bomb, the middle finger or a u-lock unless you think you are gonna win. Because once you do, you have written a check and there is someone out there bankin on cashin it in for you. Your shiny shirt, fancy bag and perfect knickers aren't gonna save the international bank of you from gettin run up by a SUV full of junior republican bankers.

  Play it smart ride your bike for fun, put your bag on your shoulder and leave the chip off. You are one in a million and they are one in a hundred.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never use my middle finger because it's usually encased in a mitten. I rarely use the f-bomb because their stereo is blasting or they're yakking on their phone.

I guess I always think I'm going to win. I have a plan. I have an escape route. If I don't have these two things I refuse to engage, but in our fair metropolis of MSP there are many escape routes and there are many possible plans.

Saliva? Check. Carbide-tipped stylus? Check. U-lock? Check. Keys? Check. Fists? Check. Elbows? Check.

Go to:


and scroll down to the November 3rd entry. It's not my best effort but since it happened right on your corner I think it's more appropriate for this forum.

11:24 PM  

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