4/24/2007

What if Stem cells cured DUI's?

An Irish Scientist has found that stem cells can cure D.U.I.'s and my be able to stop "gayism". This will certainly loosen up the conservative grip on stem cell research.

"This is going to have a huge effect in Minnesota" say's Rev Sphinterlickerson of the "South of the River Congregation of Hypocritical Christians". We love Jesus and we can't do anythinking without getting drunk. We talk about beer and football all the time! Sure abortion has been a big issue for us, but it doesn't hit home the way D.U.I's do. When you live out here in Maplemontrose Grove Village it is hard to get around with no license.

The SRCHC thinks could be just what the consenting Dr fassist ordered, "we have been looking for a fix for both the growing liberal gay problem and the teenage pregnancy epidemic. Now that abortions will be okay we can cure both problems without upsetting Jesus.

Clayton Doeswell say's, "this is the best thing ever!". He had been unfairly charged with his 3rd D.U.I. a few weeks ago. "It is really unfair that someone of my financial standing has to adhere to these urban laws."

Clayton was down in front of the local abortion clinic screamin "what part do I eat?!", waiving a fetus above his head. A group of guys in Polo shirts had collected all clamoring around trying to figure out how they can get in on the cure.

It seemed that none of the group actually knew what a stem cell was but they had changed their point of view over night and were ready to get with the new program.

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