Headlines I expect to see soon…

1. Febreeze causes Autism.

2. Christian Scientists Discover the World is actually 6400 years old.

3. Football is Americas Number 2 Homoerotic Past Time; Number 1 Being “Convincing the world you are not Gay”.

4. Season Premier of “CSI Africa” solves cases of Rape in Darfur.

5. FOX News Plans Hostile Takeover of The Liberal Media.

6.Todd Palin seen Kanoodling  with Hannah Montana.

7.Seinfeld ruled “Trite and Formulaic” by Supreme Court, Larry David to serve 9Seasons of Consecutive Life Sentences.

8.Harry Potter brought up on ethics charges. Dumbledore found guilty in ongoing corruption investigations at Hogwarts.

9.Federal Law now Prohibits Paying Attention While Driving.

10.Scientists Discover Reality Television is More Interesting than You are.

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